Almost there

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha... *cough*

Watch out - Chidori got new twin markers today - now she's got more than 100.

HOUSE WARMING STORIES

I was at my friend Maria's house warming party yesterday... and as the evening progressed the stories got more and more interesting... here are a few.

1) My friend and her friends put in some hard work to fix up that apartment, and in the process they tore down a few walls, to Anders' great dismay.


2) I heard the story about why my friend Maria has this panic fear involving butterflies... apparently they are actually NINJA BUTTERFLIES with throwing stars... who would have known? My sister hates butterflies too... maybe there's a connection.

3) I learned why you're not supposed to paint you snowman's smile using gravy browning
4) Things got interesting when Maria told me about her other friend who apparently shot 4 black birds once and wanted to serve them as the main dish when some friends came over for dinner... Maria saw the four unlucky birds on a plate with some yeast, and some flees hastily retreating from the dead birds.
5) Maria also told me about the time she went to a party while on call duty trying to hush everybody so she could hear her phone, while she insisted she was sober enough to do her job.
6) Around 11 pm I made cinnamon buns... there was some dough left over from the bread we baked... can't let stuff like that go to waste. we had dough, sugar, butter and cinnamon - TADAA
7) Then came the story about one of the other guests, who once went to see a movie, and sat next to a 16 year old, 100 kilo, pimpled boy, who seemed to have emptied the candy store before he went in, he ate it all before the movie even started - and she got a 3-D movie with smell and extra sound effects and everything.



8) After having hear stories about guests who ran over duckling on their bike and deer in their cars we made up a recipe for Road-kill-stew

9) The gruesome tale about how one of the guests got a tooth removed while her noble boyfriend fainted, luckily the dental technician had some nice boobs and she brought him back round.

10) And then it was time to leave and catch the last train, you know it's time when you you start looking into your hollow crackers and imagine caves...

They really DO look like caves you know!

There is only so much pretty in the world

Yeah if you only see my sister from behind, you wouldn't know that Dicte/Emil Andersen is schedule to enter this world tomorrow...

You know you play to many computer games when...

Well everyone has tried it! I'm just the first one to admit it. Yes it always seems that the line is moving slowly when you're in a hurry, it's never jamed when you're not about to miss an appointment... And yes haven't we all imagined ways to make that queue move faster? the trick is to keep it INSIDE your head and not shout it out.

It's just like at Christmas time - it doesn't help that you start complaining about how slow the saleslady is, that's not gonna make the queue move faster, it's only gonna make all the people in the queue even more grumpy. If you're happy, share it, if you are angry at the freaking queue and the store and the world in general... please DON'T share with anyone but your loved ones or the therapist who is paid to listen to you.

This was my clever way to bitch about a grumpy experience in a queue to the whole world who isn't paid to listen ^____________^

Hating people

Yeah luckily there is very few people I feel this way about, only one actually I think...

But I often get the urge to wipe down all the handles in public buses with alcohol, because I know how many people don't wash their hands after they go to the toilet >.<*

Only one thing beats women talking about childbirth...

Yeah - we've all tried listening to some mother telling about how wonderful her baby is, but then start ranting about how tough the contractions were and how many hours she had to fight before this little wonder on earth came out...

Only ONE thing beats the stories these mothers tell...

And that ONE thing is the FATHERS telling the story about how the child was born

Apperantly my sisters diet consisted of 45 % iron the first week after my nephew was born. The nurses made her "iron-stew" and "iron-smoothies" because she lost so much blood. According to my brother in law: a spray of blood followed the baby and arched across the room...

And they wonder why I'm in no hurry to find a guy to reproduce with ^__^

Proud people playing chess with Death...

So I was thinking... how much does it take, before someone who is a BRILLIANT chess player, but who is also very proud resigns in a game of chess against Death?

* "Fuck you! I'm not gonna do that!"

Yeah... I met with some of my gay friends yesterday, and they confirmed what I already knew... DON'T GO TO HAMMEL! Here the local grill has a sign advertising: FLÆSKESTEGSBURGER - NU MED EKSTRA SOVS!

It's the hill billy city over them all, and if you get caught up in a tupperware party here, you're doomed! Well, it wasn't even Hammel - it was Farre, 6 km outside Hammel.

And as a piece of bonus information I can tell you, that if you engage in singstar in hill billy ville you are very likely to get your ass kicked.

You know the ethical thought experiments people sometimes do?

Like: 12 people are in a life boat that is only build for 11. The boat is going to sink in 30 minutes if you do not throw someone overboard into the freezing water. You know help is on its way - but you don't know when it will reach you... it might take hours...
Do you throw someone out? And who? The captain? The wounded guy who will die in less in an hour if he doesn't get help? The pregnant lady? The murderer who was being transported to a prison? The old man?


Now imagine this boat, the 12 people are discussion if and who to throw out... suddenly a man stands up and says:

*note* Annas was high priest when Jesus was sentenced to death.

How dread-locks were invented

I can't braid my own hair... my arms always get tired and almost go into a cramp - so that's why you only see me with lose hair, pony tail or hair bun in my drawings.

How to save money according to Chidori

Don't be so prudish! We who grew up with cats and dogs are used to dust of our clothes and regularly checking the plate to remove hairs from our dish. You see it - you remove it, no harm done, and if you don't see it you eat it and you wont even know...

Seize the day!

People shouldn't frown upon us who like spending a whole day in bed! Just because your relationship with your pillow and blanket isn't working doesn't mean that ours can't.

Chidori is so selfish

What you say isn't always what you mean... and sometimes when you say something about others... you're really just projecting stuff about yourself.